How to be a Wine Snob - Lesson 1

If you want to be a wine snob you must be familiar with the jargon associated with snobbery. I will present six especially important terms in this post with more to follow. I will let you memorize these before presenting more. By the way, if you use these terms in even a slightly obnoxious way accept that fact that you will most likely be mocked behind your back.

Umami (u-mɑ-mi)—Umami is a word borrowed from Japanese and is defined as “savory taste.” Sometimes it is described as brothy or meaty.  Hondashi, a Japanese powder made from a smoked and dried Bonito, imparts an umami taste to miso soup.  When it comes to wine, impress your friends by saying something like, “Mature wines with softened tannins and nuanced umami make for a better match for powerful foods such as parmesan, tuna and shiitake mushrooms.”

Terroir (ter-wär)—Terroir is the complete natural environment in which a particular wine is produced, including factors such as the soil, topography, climate, sunny days, and so on. Let’s say that you have a friend who comments on a wine and suggests that the vintage, appellation and variety make it a very good wine. You do an eye-roll (not too obvious but just obvious enough) and say, “The terroir of this wine makes it somewhat inferior to others from the same region where a mist rolls in early in the morning but, hey, if you like it, that’s what counts.”

Pyrazine (per-a-zeen)—There are three types of pyrazine: Isobutylmethoxpyrazine, Isopropylmethoxpyrazine, and Sec-butylmethoxpyrazine Um...okay, but what is it? It is an aromatic organic compound that is an important component of many fruits and vegetables. The first is more prevalent in fresh bell pepper, the second in green asparagus or peas, and the third in beetroot. Of course, anyone reading this knows exactly what beetroot smells like, right? Pyrazine is considered an important aspect of a wine like sauvignon blanc but in a red wine—forget it. So, if at a party, read the label on the bottle so you can prepare for a witty comment. If the wine is a sauvignon blanc from South Africa, say something like, “Ah. The overtones of pyrazine in this wine make it the perfect companion for the seafood you served us.”

Cuvée (kü-ˈvā)—This is a term used to describe a type, blend, or batch of wine, especially champagne. It normally refers to a blend of very good wines. You might suggest to friends that they try the Cuvee Rouge at some local winery. Add, for emphasis, something like, “Normally I wouldn’t drink a red from (fill in the blank) but this particular blend was quite good.” Unfortunately the term is now being applied to coffee blends. Such snobbery!

Minerality—Minerality in wine is one of the most cerebral and challenging concepts to grasp. A wine described as mineral literally expresses the mineral elements of the soils on which it was grown. Minerality is also an expression of terroir.  Calling a wine “mineral” is a major compliment, as minerality implies complexity, depth and sophistication. Say something (after reading the label on the wine), “Oh my God. The minerality of this wine is exquisite. Undoubtedly it is from the south of France.”

I have tried wines from parts of California that are not known for their soil. One, in particular, came from an area that had sandy soil. The minerality of the wine was—sandy. Ugh.

Brooding—The word brooding is a relatively new wine snob word. When used to depict a wine, it means that the wine is dark in hue and densely concentrated. Wines described as brooding are almost always red, and typically express dark fruit flavors such as blackberry, black cherry and (my favorite) blackcurrant. This term is also used to describe a wine that expresses other “dark” notes such as dark chocolate, black licorice, tar or tobacco. Tell some friends about an especially wonderful wine you had, saying, “It was seductive and brooding on the palate, a magnificent combination of blackcurrant and blackberry fruits followed by essences of licorice, oak and smooth tannins that felt like velvet in the mouth.”  If you want to be a true snob use the word “cassis” instead of blackcurrant.

By the way, many Spanish wines are considered to be brooding which is why, perhaps, I like them (although I always used the term dense—shame on me).